Lord of the Dance?

Meet the Lady of the Dance



Gucci allows you to kick up your heels in their new velvet floral print dress. You can two step, or kick step, or high step your way to notoriety and be SURE that you will be the center of attention for $3,550

Or you could just play Heidi in your local high school play.

Would you like tea with that?

Normally I see leather as sexy, possibly risqué. However Adam plus Eve have managed to make a leather sheath dress for a matronly gentlewoman. This dress is never going to move with you, or show your curves at all. All it needs now is a giant feathered hat to be a complete outfit. Perhaps a pirate hat?



Enjoy the dress and it can be yours for $895

Voo Doo your pants away

I see doilies…doilies where your pants should be. While you’re gluing, and trimming, and bedazzling and knitting and all of the other horrors that you did to this Voo Doo Strappy Tunic by Free People, just embellish yourself up some pants too while you’re at it.

Seriously, the bottom is a lace doily with some mushrooms glued to it, and the back doesn't get any better. PUT ON SOME PANTS!




At only $98 for the top, you should be able to pick up a pair.

Woof Woof

Now, I grew up on a steady diet of Disney movies, including The Shaggy Dog. But just because I occasionally wanted to be a princess didn't mean that I grew up also wanting to be a Sheep Dog. But there’s room enough here for everyone’s dream, because the impression is even stronger from the back.



And, for $695 couldn't you make it look a bit less mangey?

Dread Jacket by Elizabeth & James

Back away from the upholstery fabric now

I realize that designers want to branch out, be different…BUT…just because we sit on our behinds does not mean they should be covered in fabric meant only for curtains or really ugly chairs. Those prints are there for a reason – so you can fold back those curtains, or throw a blanket over that chair your great aunt gave you. So unless you’re making really small chairs you may want to avoid these Golden Brocade Pants by Tracy Porter even at the bargain price of $225. Hey, you can get a decent chair at IKEA for that!

New Species - BEWARE

Apparently, either this Chanel handbag has either just eaten a small furry animal or it IS one. Either way I find it disturbing. It even has young to take care of, and we all know that new mothers are particularly territorial and overprotective. So I'm thinking that I have to be worried about all of my other handbags AND my small pets. I'm wondering if, at $4995, this comes with a box and dustbag or a cage and a lock?

What, too much?

Mr. Cavalli, I just adore the animal themed jewelry that you've put out this year. But this, THIS? Did you just have a whole bunch of very expensive remnants on the floor of your workroom that you didn't know what to do with? Mink - blue and black, sequins, AND floral? You really ought to give everyone else sunglasses.

I'm stunned at $11,375